Murphy's Law of Combat Operations:
1. Friendly fire - isn't
2. Recoil-less rifles - aren't
3. Suppressive fires - won't
4. You are not Superman; Marines and Fighter Pilots take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is Natures way of telling you to slow down.
6. If its stupid but it works, it is not stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
11. Never go to bed with someone crazier than yourself.
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
13. If your attack is going really well, its an ambush.
14. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is their main attack.
15. The enemy always attacks on two occasions: when they are ready
when you are not.
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
17. There is no such thing as the perfect plan.
18. Five second fuses always burn in three seconds.
19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
21. The important things are always simple; the simple things are always hard.
22. The easy way is always mined.
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire.
25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
28. Incoming fire has the right of way.
29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
34. Things that must work together cant be carried to the field that way.
35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
36. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
37. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you wont be able to get out.
38. Tracers work both ways.
39. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
40. When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they are both right.
41. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
42. Military intelligence is a contradiction.
43. Fortify your front; you will get your rear shot up.
44. Weather is not neutral.
45. If you can not remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
46. Air defense motto: shoot them down, sort them out on the ground.
47. The Calvary doesn't always come to the rescue.
48. Napalm is an area support weapon.
49. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
50. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
51. Snipers motto: reach out and touch someone.
52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
53. The one item you need is always in short supply.
54. Interchangeable parts aren't.
55. Its not the one with your name on it, its the one addressed to whom it may concern you need to worry about.
56. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
57. The side with the simplest uniform wins.
58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
59. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
60. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lay down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
61. The most dangerous thing in the world is a officer with a compass and a map.
62. Exceptions prove the rule, destroy the battle plan.
63. Everything always works at your HQ, everything always fails at the Commanders HQ.
64. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
65. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
66. A clean and dry set of fatigues is a magnet for mud and rain.
67. The worse the weather the more you are required to be out in it.
68. Whenever you have plenty of ammo you never miss, whenever you are low on ammo you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
69. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it for repairs.
70. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of its operator.
71. Field experience is something you do not get until just after you need it.
72. No matter which way you have to march, it is always uphill.
73. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
74. For every action there is equal and opposite criticism. (In boot camp)
75. Airstrike's always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short
76. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
Over the years many a soldier has added to Murphys Law of Combat Operations, hidden in these 76 laws are more than a few hints to help you not go home in a body bag.