Easy way to tell the temperature
60 | Californians put their sweaters on.
50 | Miami residents turn on the heat.
45 | Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
40 | You can see your breath, | Californians shiver uncontrollably, | Minnesotans go swimming.
35 | Italian cars don't start.
32 | Water freezes.
30 | You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 | Ohio water freezes, | Californians weep pitiably, | Minnesotans eat ice cream, | Canadians go swimming.
20 | Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, | New York City water freezes, | Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
15 | French cars don't start, | Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 | You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 | American cars don't start.
0 | Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 | German cars don't start, | Eyes freeze shut when you step outside.
-15 | You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, | Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, | Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 | Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, | Politicians actually do something about the homeless, | Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, | Japanese cars don't start.
-25 | Too cold to think, | You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 | You plan a two week hot bath, | Swedish cars don't start.
-40 | Californians disappear, | Minnesotans button top button, | Canadians put on sweater, | Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 | Congressional hot air freezes, | Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 | Polar bears move South, | Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot | cocoa at the game.
-90 | Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 | Hell freezes over, Obama resigns.

Advice from An Old Man

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.